BoyJake’s Overwhelming, Raw and Angry Day

Now that my time in the desert is over, I have returned to the office to find that there is much more work than I think I can realistically complete before leaving for Amsterdam on Monday without a complete mental collapse.

Yesterday I found out that my direct supervisor asked one of my co-workers some questions about me that I really would have preferred he just ask me directly. It doesn’t really matter what it was about – I’m just questioning whether or not I should continue to trust him. I once trusted him as much as I’ve ever trusted anybody so this stings pretty fuckin’ bad. I tried to call him about it today (he works remote from the Midwest) but he didn’t answer his phone and his instant messenger away note has been up all day.

I woke up raw about this today, but didn’t think it was all that big a deal. I drove to work only to get there and find that I left my computer at home and would need to drive all the way back to retrieve it.

When I got back to work, computer in tow, I found that the office had no Internet connection and the tech dorks couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it. The office had no Internet connection for a big chunk of the morning. This made it difficult for me to do my job, causing me to feel even rawer than before.

Last night I left a phone message for the woman I am still legally married to requesting that she call me back to discuss the possibility of us moving forward with divorce proceedings. The woman I am legally married to does not like to talk to me. She does not like to talk to me in person. She does not like to talk to me by phone. I can’t imagine that she really likes to communicate with me by email, but it seems that whenever (not very damn often) I leave her a voice mail message, she responds by email. This infuriates me. It takes forever to take care of the simplest thing when communicating with her by email. In my voicemail message of last night, I expressly requested that she return my phone call even though I know that she prefers to communicate by email. She responded with an email saying that she’s really glad that I want to communicate by email. This makes me want to bludgeon baby seals in a very raw way.

I got hungry around 11 AM and decided that some Redneck Bob’s tacos would cheer me up. I got in my car and promptly backed into the driver’s side fender of some old lady’s big gold Ford. She has a gigantic dent. My bumper is a bit scraped and not attached as well as it once was, but it’s an old car and I’m finding it hard to give a shit. I gave the old lady my insurance information and left to get my tacos. Today there was a different Taco Man and he didn’t think he was funny. He also had no baby seals. This was good for him. This was good for the baby seals.

The tacos didn’t do much to cheer me up so I continued to pound away at my work stuff until it was time to go to my massage appointment. I had ninety minutes of good, caring touching and stretching. I should have gone straight the fuck home after that and called in sick for the afternoon, but I fucked up and went back. I got to the office and I had a bunch of stupid voicemail from a bunch of retarded fuckheads and all of the tension returned to my body. Every bit of it. And probably some tension that wasn’t there before. I think I might break my keyboard from typing too hard. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I feel a bit better having vented here. I think I might return home now to write a bit, do some laundry, pine for Brenda (she’s away on a school retreat) and sip on some beer, or whiskey, or both. Just in case, you might want to lock up your baby seals. Lock them the fuck up.

Thanks for playing.